Remember your Muse

It’s been since forever since I’ve written anything. Well, that’s not strictly true. It’s been since forever since I’ve written anything here.

So it goes. I wish those three words were mine; they’re not, but I’m borrowing them, and yes I know I’m shameless that way. So it goes.

One of the reasons I don’t write as much as I used to is simply that it’s so difficult. The writing itself isn’t difficult – not really. What’s difficult is clicking the “off” switch in my head once whatever I’m writing has found its voice. That’s just uncomfortable. It’s unpleasant to write and then to not be able to sleep afterwards because the mind is racing. It’s uncomfortable because the real world demands one’s attention to detail and is relentless with its demands. In a way, I just simply can’t afford to write all that often.

In some ways, this appears to be shaping up to be an apology to the very few folks who read this. People who know me know that I’m notorious for apologizing about the things that don’t really matter to me but am remarkably disinclined (and wilful) about apologizing for anything important. I think this qualifies me as something of an arsehole. It also means that whatever else this is, it is not an apology for not writing.

I’m explaining that I’m not writing because I’ve chosen to make other things a priority, for many reasons, including getting a full night’s sleep. Those of you who think this unimportant no doubt sleep well and often. So, if not an apology for not writing, perhaps then I’m making excuses. Maybe I am. That said, I am not a fan of guilt. I think it’s highly overrated and counterproductive – it’s the emotional equivalent of an appendix. But the line between explanation and excuses is analogous at times to the line between light and darkness. This imaginary line is known as the terminator, and while this definition relates to planetary bodies, I cannot help but wonder whether those who created Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie of the same name intended to also convey how that Terminator’s definition is twofold. But, I clearly digress….

I’m rationalizing why I don’t write that often anymore because I was referred to a website of someone who takes photographs today. I suppose we can call this person a “photographer”. There are some beautiful photographs on this site. I don’t know the photographer at all – wouldn’t know her from Eve if I tripped over her. But there are some real gems there. Go see for yourself at parvum opus.

This is a person who commits herself to her art/trade/hobby/skill/obsession. You can pick the correct word – I’m not going to – I don’t have enough context and I’m not sure I want to attach a word to what she does in any event. I don’t know if she truly enjoys what she does, experiences anxiety over it, or obsesses or frets or rejoices in her talent.

She clearly embraces it and I say that that’s cause for celebration.